I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
