I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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