i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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