At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
