Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
