Umm I'm too high to move.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Damn victory sex feels great
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