Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
