He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
