She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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