Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
