After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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