eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
