Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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