Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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