Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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