I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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