omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
