anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
