i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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