I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my poor anus
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
