i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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