Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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