But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
