when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
