Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
