i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
only if we run a train.
done.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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