I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
