Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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