Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
