Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
