I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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