My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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