I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
