you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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