I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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