On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This is my gift to your gina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
