So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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