Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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