But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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