her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
