id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
