You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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