There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
