Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
