were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
