I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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