I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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