How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
