dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't put those talents on a resume
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
