porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
