I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
