Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Someone signed my nipple.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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