You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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