"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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