If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
