i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
