It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
