So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
