oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
