Whod you bang
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
