you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
