party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
